are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize