Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My first STD was from a foam party
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
