Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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