we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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