That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
