is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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