So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize