you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
