just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
