Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
