His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
