I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
