She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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