So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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