You just made me feel so damn special
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
