Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
