Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
