this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
