either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you traded sex for a burrito?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
