So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
