Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
