Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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