Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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