He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
