I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i think im in europe. pls send help
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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