yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
