i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize