ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My vagina is officially offended.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
