you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
