you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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