But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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