So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
there's paper in my vomit.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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