Christians are straight up FREAKS
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
