So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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