i jhust puked up my retainher.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
