So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
