so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
