Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
