You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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