oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
