Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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