The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
