I can text with my tongue
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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