STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My balls are so social today.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
