so that wasnt chicken after all
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
