think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He felt like a one man threesome
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
