Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
