i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
