found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
