Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
