i think i have two assholes
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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