We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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