you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
