I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
