I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
