He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
