There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
