escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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