I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
