hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
