I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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