i don't like sucking hair
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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