Little spoons don't ask big questions
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize