that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
